What is real?

Many TV-series (particularly scifi-series, which are very dear to me) have an episode where the hero has to question what's real and what's not. In the more extreme cases, the hero starts to have flashes where he or she is actually locked in a mental institution, and everything that has thus far happened in the show has been a figment of imagination. This is strengthened by people in the institution knowing about the series chronology, about vampires (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) or aliens (Smallville).

In Smallville Clark Kent finds himself in a such a situation. He is shocked to find that Jor-El is infact a brand of soap, and Oliver Queen (a.k.a. Green Arrow) is the name of the hospital worker administrating his medicine.
Buffy in turn finds out she has been in the mental institution for six years - since the series started - and both her mother and her father are expecting her to come out of it. All that has happened in Sunnydale is just dreams in a sick woman's mind. It makes it even worse that the series questions itself: "sick girl who's in mental ward or super-girl who battles vampires - which sounds more insane?" to paraphrase from memory.

This annoys me on three levels; first it ridicules fans who have invested time to the series chronology. It highlights the built-in ridiculousness of the more absurd parts of the series mythology (hero's super strength, origin story, being centre of the world). Also, for stories to work we have to believe in them, believe in the rules of the world; these is-the-hero-insane stories beg the question is that time well placed.

On second level, the stories don't end well. The mental ward is often thought to be in "our" reality, where there are no Kryptonians or vampires. It is inherently more "real" than anything in the series itself. After you introduce the ward, you also have to explain why the ward was just the figment of the hero's imagination. Otherwise we get to the "it was just all a dream" scenario, the most effect way to lose interest of the watcher.

In Smallville, Martian Manhunter explained how the ward was infact a psychic attack by hostile force, who tried to overtake Clark's mind by showing him that he was mad.
In Buffy, just the opposite is done; at the ward Buffy's mother explains how the friends in Sunnydale are not friends at all but traps that keep her comatose in the real world. The episode ends with Buffy asking forgiveness from her friends - and then cut to the ward where the doctor diagnoses Buffy comatose and we are shown parents weeping. It wasn't a trick, or an attack.

On third, and less popular culture-level these episodes beg the question about life itself. If we interpret the world solely by our senses, and our senses are processed trough our brain - how can a person decide if she or he is hallucinating? A person tells you that you are hallucinating - do you trust the person? Or if two different things claim that the other isn't real - how can you make an educated choice between the two?

This isn't just about me pondering TV-series. I have a friend who sees hallucinations. Doing pretty well with them too, as I gather. Takes medication for it. When my grandmother gets sick, she regresses one year at a time back to her childhood. Mother is going to get me soon. Who are you? Why are you here Uncle? Back from America? When her body gets better, her mind gets better as well, and again she knows who I am..
And while I don't have anything of that magnitude, I do get blackouts when I rise or make sudden moves, during which my ability to see or keep my balance greatly diminishes. They take up to 30 seconds and when my mind clears it always hits me how much on the mercy of few wirings I am. My whole world - literally - is hosted inside a lump of meat. And the distinction is so hard to make; am I living in the world or is the world living in me?

[ To talk about am-I-crazy scenarios, here is a good wiki-link about it taken to it's extreme; Tommy Westphall.

The mental ward or it's variation has also been used in Star Trek: TNG, Star Trek: DS9, Lost, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and Charmed. ]

About dogs.

While I was coming back to home from my mother today, I saw a woman with very interesting hair-do, with very short hair expect just in top of her eyes, where she had big patch, greased to go upwards. It had also been dyed yellow (rest of her hair was brown). She was dressed in wierd jacket, pants and boots. She wasn't very slim, but not fat either; she looked like she had bought that chocolate bar few times too often, but not like she would have been swimming in it.
She also had a dog. I dont know much about dogs, so I cant well identify it; but it was about three fourths of meter high, it was very brown, very slim and very agile looking. In other words, it didnt look much like it's mistress.

From seeing this, I remember the old saying about dogs and their masters (or mistresses, as it is), and about how they end looking like each other. And I started thinking, if this was so, why was it? Was it because, after having had a similar lifestyle for years they started to look like each other? Or maybe it was only the company?

And from this, my train of thoughts jumped to the obvious conclusion; what if people actually bought dogs, to make themselves LOOK like dogs? "I would like to look little more masculine, I think Ill get a bulldog." "I wanna look little more official, I think I take the wolfhound." "I think I want to look cute, Ill take the pudel." And so on.

While writing this, it occured to me that people really do this. They take animals they want to highlight they lifestyle, or give certain image; dalmatians, for examble, are animals that can and should run 100 kilometres each day (read this from somewhere), so they are perfect animals at farms; but people who want to look avantgarde (and thus live in urban cities) get them. Not good for the pet, is it?

So, maybe I wasn't so genius as I thought, eh? But it's a nice thought. To get slim and younglooking by getting one of those dogs that chase bunnies at competitions..

Valerian and New Orleans

I remember, years ago, reading a french comic book (in finnish, of course), named Liikkuvien vetten kaupunki, if I remember correctly. Translation would be around the lines of "The City of Moving Waters". It was about two time travelers, who come back into past, into the year 1986, soon after catastrophe that makes the timelines nearly impossible to walk during the next few hundred years, a time which separates the modern world and the future, where time travel is possible and Galaxity is the peak of human civilization, culture that knows how to travel both in space and time, and have agents around both.

Anyway, in the beginning story Valerian is looking for his partner, who goes by the name of either Linda or Laura -- I forget. They are in New York City after the catastrophe, evacuated after the waters rose about ten meters over the street level.

Anyway, thats what Im thinking about now.

The parallels with today should not be too hard to see.

Was watching the news, and it occured to me how similar the footage was between NO and Baghdad. The reporters used nearly the same words. The story used nearly the same "plots". There was a person who hadn't eaten in a week, a man nearly mad because he had seen so many bodies float past him etc. The only difference that really hit me in the eye between NO and Bagdad was how welleaten these people looked. Sure, they were probaply really hungry, but its hard to stay serious when woman that appears to be around 100 kilos in weight goes about her dying because of lack of food.

Sure, these people are in need of help. But it wasnt like they didnt have oportunity to step into a bus and take vacation upstate or something, when the weathermen went - probaply in several channels, all at once - "FUCKING GET OUT OF THE CITY" to the viewers. These people thought they could do just fine back at their home sofa. Lousiana (thats where the city is located, if I remember correctly?) is pretty warm place, and you could probaply survive out in the wilds a week or so without depending on food store or anything. Plus the government offered their own staying places as well.

Oh well. Darwinism at work here.

That sounds so cruel. I hope the people will be ok - at least those alive - but of course its just one of the many tradegies in the world today. Concentrating on this one just dosent sound so... right. As it would be cheating. But of course, if you dont have friends or family there, its not really that real to you ,and you can go back to killing those people on computer, and hope you find the Final Bad Boss soon.

About Pirates of Old

When we were young, we all dreamed of lives as pirates (well, we lads did, anyway, girls played 'home', I suppose). Some of us (read: me) even had "pirate-kit". It came with eyepatch, hookhand and dagger.

Incidentally, why do pirates have - at least, when thinking stereotypes - hook instead of hand, only one leg and patch over eye? And then kids WANT to be like them. "Yeah, when I grow up, I'm going to have only one eye, hand and leg. And then I'm going to rob people."

Right.

If we think logically, those identitymarks are actually silent witnesses to made mistakes. You see, on ships of old, there were lots of changes to get rid of your appendixes if you weren't careful. You are tying a knot with some rope and then the sails get wind - and there you go, right hand! Was nice knowing you!

And after losing the hand, our examble subject goes with group-pressure and gets himself a hook. There's nothing wrong with hook-hands, per se, but apparently the men of old werent really that big on preparing to bed. So, once sleeping, a bed bug goes and bites the pirate next to eye. While sleeping, the body moves on its own and tries to slap the nasty bug. And there goes the eye... And while absent-mindedly scraching one's body, its easy to make impressive looking scars, that really make women go WILD.

With the eye goes 3D-vision, and the area of sight goes from 180 degrees to 100. Its now really easy to stumble and lose that leg too.

Now we also have to remember, that back then, people thought veggies tasted good, but werent really that important to health. This caused body to lack vitamins and - in the end - teeth to fall off.

And there he is, our pirate. With one eye, leg and hand, with impressive scars and nasty looking beard (no mirrors and its hard to shave with your weaker arm, while the floor goes up and down). And let us not forget the teeth. Or lack, thereof.

And really, thats all worth it, to be pirate and having parrot that can say "CRAACK! OFF THE BLANK! CRAAC!". And of course, robbing people. And looking cool, under that Skull-and-Bones flag. A Kodak moment.

Oh, Pirate I was meant to be...